Twelve Years Later And Mickey Avalon’s “My Dick” Has Gone Platinum

The first best song of the music as social media era has finally officially impacted one million lives. What’s next?

Remember Myspace Records? Moreso than Napster, it’s when a social networking website with no sustainable means of generating its own revenue created a record label that should’ve been the moment that someone slapped the music industry in the face. Mickey Avalon —bisexual prostitute turned dirty sex-talking indie rapper — was inarguably the act signed by the label that truly symbolized where the world was headed. Thus, as more a showcase of the world’s desire to not pay attention to its own dystopian demise, let’s revel in the fact that some twelve years after its release, “My Dick” — Avalon’s most bluntly ostentatious rap single — is a platinum-selling success. Insofar as what that means for the music industry and our collective existences moving forward? Well, that’s a whole other story.

As a portal, the rise and fall of Myspace should’ve presaged just how wildly out of sync human beings trusting the digital age with their creative energy and social capital was with the idea of eternal economic recession. In 2008, Myspace was valued at $800 million after being purchased for $580 million by News Corp three years…