If Doja Cat Is A Cow & Pose Has Female Stars, Then Omarosa Is A Dog

Metaphor & simile are important in our now intellectually flat and stupid United States

The braying roosters associated with the election of Donald Trump as America’s President have come home to roost and refuse to be snuffed. There are no hills upon which to hide or die on in our now, metaphorically, intellectually flat and very stupid country. Thus, putrid poultry-as-passionate people are now feeding upon our minds, bodies, and souls. In this reality, if Doja Cat is actually a cow and Janet Mock is actually a woman, then sadly, Omarosa Manigault Newman is also a dog. It is exactly what it is, and it’s terrible.

Because we’ve removed nuance in the form of metaphors and similes from our every day lives, and life is now a conservative mess, none of these things can be declared false. Furthermore, this means that the space for sexism, racism, and general intolerance now exists. Given that there’s nothing we can do to stop these notions because we’ve lost our all important linguistic grip on society, all that’s left for us to do is bop our heads to Doja Cat’s new immediate smash viral hit single “Mooo!” In doing so, literally anything else that happens to us as a collective national body politic shouldn’t be shocking — or more importantly, angering —…