I Just Want To Be Donald Trump’s Vice President And #MakeBlackLivesMatterAgain

Chris Christie Doesn’t Want To #MakeAmericaGreatAgain, But I Do

On Super Tuesday night, watching New Jersey Governor Chris Christie standing behind Donald Trump in Palm Beach, Florida was akin to watching that scene in Gremlins when Billy learns what happens when mogwais are introduced to water. It’s also a moment that inspired me to action.

Instead of Chris Christie, how about Donald Trump choose ME, Marcus K. Dowling — a currently politically un-affiliated, Black Power loving and free-market socialist leaning progressive — as his Vice Presidential nominee?

I’m not saying that I explicitly or implicitly support Trump, but I know that I have the extreme temerity to stand up to his bombastic idiocy (and yes, that includes not immediately denouncing the support of one-time Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke). Trump’s abrasive politics have grown legendary, just as the idea of him possibly winning in November is growing, too. If he does win, having a cowering veep does nothing for him. Instead, maybe he should choose someone who isn’t afraid of him at all. I feel confident that I’m not scared of this gremlin of a nominee. But he’s going to have hell to pay to get me.

I believe all I need is Donald Trump’s money, power and respect, and I believe that I could be the man who through a Trump Presidency could actually make #blacklivesmatter in America. I know that in order to do this, African-Americans would have to vote for Trump. That requires me being the guy who’s willing to make a deal with the devil as significant as the one that Robert Johnson made in order to play the Delta blues in order to get black folks a fair shake in America’s future. I have a soul, and The Donald is certainly the devil, so I’m ready to approach the table.

See I believe in money, power and respect
First you get the money
Then you get the muthafuckin’ power
After you get the fuckin’ power, muthafuckas will respect you
- Lil Kim, “Money, Power, Respect”

Chris Christie probably isn’t as big of a rap fanatic as I am, and I know as well that he’s not black in America in 2016. Therefore, I can presume that he’s probably not thinking that the problem at the crux of the 2016 Presidential Election is that in eight years as President that Barack Obama didn’t quite get the job done for black people. Thus, given that the only black man running is not even remotely appealing as a choice as Obama twice was, black people aren’t voting as much as they did in 2008 and 2012.

The numbers of African-American Democrats who voted on Super Tuesday aren’t out yet, but consider the downturn in Democratic voters in the first non-Obama Super Tuesday since 2008 as highlighted by the data posted from the Washington Post. As well, think about how many black Republicans you know as opposed to the number of black Democrats, aka people that we know turned out in DROVES in 2008 and 2012, many spurred on by the idea of voting for a black President who could assuredly win election for the first and second time in American history. There’s absolutely a correlation, which means that for a third consecutive cycle, black voters could swing the election. Hence, this is why I’m putting my name out there as someone willing to bring ALL of the black votes to one nominee.

I don’t care that HBO funnyman John Oliver brilliantly pilloried Donald Trump on Last Week Tonight. All I know is that Donald Trump has access to somewhere in the range of $150 million to $10 billion dollars, and given that America’s almost $17 trillion in debt overall as a country, Trump as President using a mix of his private wealth and public funding to spend black lives into mattering again is yes a crazy notion, but also one that I’m willing to make happen.

The Financial Times recently stated regarding Trump that “[n]ot having policies is Donald Trump’s greatest strength. It makes him nimble.” In fact, I see this as a strength too, as if I were Trump’s Vice President, I’d be willing to craft a plan that would allow the Federal Government under a possible President Trump to take a stand FOR #blacklivesmattering. In me announcing Trump’s plan as his surrogate, he’d actually — for the first time — be able to have a nuanced and well-meaning stance taken on ANY issue. Yes, there are people who believe that Trump is a racist. I just know Donald Trump as a man who wants to win an election. Given that 66% of eligible black voters voted in 2012, there’s a sizable chunk of the black electorate that’s not hitting the polls in 2016 so far who could be motivated to do so in November. Regarding what the solution I’d present Trump looks like on the surface, here’s three of those ideas, with some sonic inspiration included as I break them down, below:

• Release prisoners with minimal marijuana possession charges into work-to-release marijuana farming programs
• Use town-hall style meetings between #blacklivesmatter activists, politicians, conflict negotiators and cops nationwide to hammer out sustainable strategies to negate police brutality
• enact a nationwide program that enables economically at-risk youth nationwide to receive three free healthy meals per day

Open Every Cell In Attica, Send ’Em To The Pot Farm

2013 American Civil Liberties Union data shows that of the 8.2 million marijuana arrests between 2001 and 2010, 88% were for simply having marijuana. As well, blacks are 3.73 times more likely than whites to be arrested for marijuana than all other races of people arrested nationwide. With the legalized recreational marijuana industry being worth potentially $37 billion by 2019 in America, there’s a great opportunity to create — via marijuana farming — a new and non-stigmatized smoke-able cash crop in America. The notion of releasing those imprisoned (many of whom are African-American) for possession of less than eight ounces of marijuana on a work-to-release program as marijuana farmers may at first seem a little perturbing, but consider that someone possessing marijuana may have already been involved in some way in the industry surrounding the drug. Paying them legally for something that they may have already been excelling at illegally actually turns a negative into a positive.

Also, given that there’s a belief that growing marijuana in soil isn’t the best idea, there’s the idea that giving rehabilitated work-to-release black prisoners the modern equivalent of 40 acres and a mule doesn’t necessarily have to include what has now become largely un-farmable and depleted soil in America.

Fuck The Police

It’s really that simple. Police brutality hasn’t really changed much since this 1999 performance of N.W.A.’s 1989 single “Fuck The Police” by Ice Cube. In fact, between 1999–2014, 76 unarmed people of color were murdered by police officers nationwide. Cops can wear all of the body cameras they want, but being held accountable by a video isn’t the same as having to deal with learning via human interaction.

The solution to police brutality isn’t necessarily as simple as writing “here’s a solution to police brutality.” However, before he could become mayor of Baltimore, getting folks like DeRay McKesson, #blacklivesmatter activist and t-shirt merchant Ryan Arrendell, and a number of civic-minded representatives to sit alongside conflict negotiators, city and state officials and families of those affected by police violence to with police forces nationwide in private town hall-style and small group forums to create fair regulations to keep cops honest and people safe. Passing down word that there would potentially be public funding shifted from say, the estimated $3.6 billion that America spends yearly to diminish the availability of marijuana, that would be available to enact public safety measures that would decrease police brutality would go far in ensuring that black lives mattered once again.

All You Can Eat

We’ve gotta save our one-time black strongholds like Flint and Detroit, Michigan from completely falling into disrepair. One excellent way of doing this is by mirroring the Black Panthers’ groundbreaking Community Breakfast Program by creating a federal free food program for America’s minority youth nationwide who go hungry and thirsty on a daily basis. Kids who go hungry are less likely to learn in school, more likely to fall prey to sickness and illness and by that standard, are probably on a path that will lead them to not being strong contributors to the socio-economic future of American society.

Americans throw away 34.7 million tons of food a year, with 52% of that being fruits and vegetables. There has to be a way to create stricter regulations for America’s grocers regarding just how long they put food on shelves, and how they dispose of unsold goods. Ideally, shaving two weeks off of shelf life of unsold goods and then shipping them to local chefs who would prepare three meals a day for young American citizens of parents demonstrating financial need is an idea worthy of consideration. On one hand, it allows for children to have access to the food they need and also employ Americans by giving them sustainable jobs and potential for skill development in the food service industry. On yet another #blacklivesmatter level, showcasing that America is beyond its past of former FBI director J. Edgar Hoover attempting to destroy the Black Panthers by publicly applauding one of the Panthers’ greatest innovations is quite the olive branch of justice to extend to the African-American community overall.

In being the first person to stand behind Donald Trump as a possible Vice President, Chris Christie is likely noticing that there’s not a puppet-master holding strings nor a hinged and connected computer circuit-board controlling him, either. Trump’s rich, powerful, flawed in a manner most human and completely un-hinged. He’s a great example of what happens when a man-as-brand taps into the controlling national conservative zeitgeist and makes the seemingly impossible notion of a loud-mouthed blowhard as American President become more of a likely possibility as the days go by. When we stare at Chris Christie’s face, we see a man scared by what all of this means. However, if it were standing behind Donald Trump? My eyes are dancing with #blacklivesmatter dollar signs.

If Donald Trump wins the 2016 Republican Presidential nomination, and he’ll acquiesce to my desired strategies, I’ll join the Republican party and be the Vice President on the Republican ticket. We’ve gotten to the point where #blacklivesmatter that much where something drastic has to occur. If Donald Trump wins, there’s actually a great shot to radically alter the future of black society forever. I’m willing to risk everything to make that change happen. Are you?